Not Polite

Today in class we learned how to say that something is not polite, and I so badly wanted to use it right away in class I started shaking. (Deep breath) Since starting module 2 I have very quickly been exposed to the fact that some things which are extremely impolite and or rude to say in our American culture are completely normal and acceptable in some Eastern/Asian cultures; specifically in relation to personal appearance. This has been very difficult for me to grasp and I find myself putting up my defenses and feeling angry rather than accepting the fact that some things are just going to be different, and as someone told me, I can't come to a new place and expect everyone else to conform to my ways.

We have a new student in our class from America who is much bigger than the average Asian, and I feel like this must seem incredible to the Asian students in my class. Because of this, one of the students from the Philippines always always always makes some impolite comment about this poor guy and ridicules him in front of the whole class. Today we learned about clothes, and he told the student that he would have to charge the student triple to iron it because he is so large. Later on the same man said that this student would have no problem eating 400 baht worth of food at this all you can eat buffet, and it would be cheap for him because he is so large. (Just so you have a point of reference, most of my full meals I eat cost about 40-70 baht per meal which is like $1-$2.) There was nothing anyone could do to get my jaw off the floor after he said that. I was in shock. If he would have said that to me, I feel like my knee-jerk reaction would have been not pretty (to put it nicely). I don't know, it just really upset me- I wanted to cry.

Here is what makes this situation difficult.

1) We're not in Kansas anymore so I can't expect people to have the same understanding about what is polite as I do. Another "western" student explained that there are no such things as filters here when it comes to physical appearance. They will point out your physical flaws yet at the same time tell you you are pretty or handsome. So when we worry that making fun of people might cause them to be depressed, they think it's as normal as asking how your day is, and saying they like your shoes.

2) How I react to things here as a Christian is very significant and closely observed by others, so I can't act out in anger (not that I should anyway).

3) Age and respect for elders is much more significant here than at home. So correcting my elders ever is not well received here.

4) Here when you have a disagreement with someone, the matter has to be handled delicately or not at all. If I was the one to cause offense to another person, they would likely not even tell me, but keep on going or end the relationship without any reason.

I feel though that there has to be a way in which I can communicate that this is very upsetting to me without offending the other person. Enough on this subject for now. For now I'll just pray about it, and ask Dang if there is a way to approach this situation respectfully.